No Children – The Mountain Goats
I’m puzzled by the ‘new’ Gingrich allegations. Okay, I tell a small lie. I’m not really puzzled—more irritated.
We already knew that Gingrich had a long-running affair with a staffer, who he eventually married after divorcing his second wife. This has been known for a long time. The new information we’re getting is this: after his wife found out about the affair, Gingrich told her he wasn’t going to stop the affair, but would continue the marriage if it could be open.
Why exactly is this a stunning new problem exactly? The premise here seems to be that affairs are just a garden-variety kind of moral defect while the desire for an open marriage reveals some glaring character flaw. But that is just insane. Open marriages are not intrinsically bad; plenty of people make them work, and very happily, too. The problem with Gingrich is the ultimatum—let me sleep with this woman or we’re getting divorced—because it demonstrates a coercive relationship. But we already KNEW that.
The only thing I can see in this story is a reaffirmation of a cultural stereotype that anyone who doesn’t want to be monogamous is by definition a moral monster. Seriously, the only new information is the words ‘open marriage.’ Who cares?
I don’t like to defend Gingrich, but this is a non-story. And to the extent that it is a story, it’s a story about the strange value system of the general electorate. Not surprisingly, Dan Savage has a pretty good take on this:
So… Newt Swingrich got a huge round of applause from a GOP debate audience packed with God-fearin’, traditional-marriage-lovin’, gay-marriage-hatin’ social conservatives… for insisting that he cheated on his second ex-wife for six years like a good Christian. He did not ask his second ex-wife for an open marriage. An honest open relationship was never on the table. Newt and Callista’s adulterous relationship was grounded in lies and deceit and betrayal from the start and Newt never wavered from that path. Newt never tried to negotiate an agreement—not even a retroactive one—that would have allowed him to sleep around and remain married. Newt did not ask his most recent ex-wife for an open marriage and he won’t ask any of his future ex-wives for an open marriage.
Because that would be wrong.