My dominant theme of 2018 in music: tears. Songs that make you cry. Songs that insist on moving beyond crying. Music of redemption, of hope, of deep and untrammeled empathy. The struggle to cope with a world that continues to hand us unending suffering. The struggle to articulate the feelings of love and unity that come from staring into your child’s eyes for the first time.
As always, these are just my favorites. I make no claim that they were objectively the best. One song per artist.
50. Bad Guy – Hatchie
I spent a lot of time this summer walking around Berkeley, and this song was a regular companion on those strolls. It’s great music for wandering.
49. Daydream – Nancy Sin
There’s a timelessness here, an expression of innocence that lives on, stubbornly refusing to accede to the slings and arrows of fortune, holding out for the possibility of finding a way to stay present.
48. Reprieval – Eternal Summers
A deep breath. A hand to a cheek. A whispered goodbye.
47. Soft – Babygirl
If this had been released a couple decades ago, it probably would have been categorized as adult contemporary. These days, with our micro-niches, it’s probably luscious indie dreampop. Whatever the label, it goes down smooth and sweet.
46. The Saddest Little Waffle House in Eastern Pennsylvania – Worriers
I slept on the Worriers album last year, so failed to include it on last year’s list. Fortunately, they released an expanded version this year with a couple new songs, so I can at least partially rectify my mistake.
45. When I’m With Him – Empress Of
The effervescent beat and falsetto chorus balance against a deeply depressing lyric – about the sense of self-doubt and recrimination that comes from realizing that you don’t love someone the way they need to be loved. And the way you torture yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong to feel this way.
44. People Get Old – Lori McKenna
I don’t know if it’s just a function of where I’m at in life, but “you still think he’s forty-five and he still thinks that you’re a kid” strikes me as a genuinely cosmic line – reflecting a sort of deep truth that we all eventually have to face, which will feel brand new to everyone when they first encounter it, for all that it’s utterly universal.
43. Stranger – Frøkedal
Delightfully off-kilter: this song struts out from the Norwegian forests, ready to dance across the water and out to the deep blue ocean, leaving behind just a hint of stardust.
42. To My Dearest Wife – Lucero
A heartfelt rock song, from a band that’s written more than a few of them in their time.
41. Murmured Hymn for Defocused Eyes – Dustings
Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
40. Halls of Sarah – Neko Case
Neko Case has run out of fucks to give, and she is here to let you know.
39. Me & My Dog – Boygenius
I have to admit that I didn’t quite love the boygenius record the way I expected. It seems impossible, given how universally I adore everything Phoebe Bridgers touches – and how much I also like both Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker. But for whatever reason, the record as a whole kind of fell flat for me. Still, this song is undeniable.
38. Leave Him Now – Cloud Nothings
Cloud Nothings took a major step back toward their roots, after experimenting with a far more melodic (and occasionally spiritual) turn last year. In some cases, that made for a listening experience more abrasive than I really wanted. But on this track, the stripped back structure and frenetic energy works perfectly.
37. Unconditional Waltz – Calexico
A quiet afternoon on the porch. Chatting about nothing. Watching the condensation pool around the edge of your glass of iced tea. Taking pleasure in every moment you get to share with your loved ones.
36. The Parting Glass – Rosanne Cash
Cash is one of the great American songwriters, so it feels a little strange to say it but…my favorite song on this record is this old Irish ballad from the 18th century, which is only available on the deluxe addition. Good night and joy be with you all, indeed.
35. Under the Blue / Take Me In – Hayley Kiyoko
Hayley Kiyoko is the pop star America needs.
34. It’s a Shame – First Aid Kit
A mediocre song can often be saved by a great chorus. This is one of the rare songs that works in the opposite direction. There’s barely a chorus to speak of, and what is there feels a touch underthought and underworked. But the verses are just so pure and so bright that it doesn’t really matter.
33. Doesn’t Matter – Christine and the Queens
A pop masterpiece about the experience of existential doubt, and the status of feminine life in a universe that makes their very existence precarious.
32. Ginger Lizard – opiuo
A ridiculously catchy song, which feels like it should be playing at 3:30 in the morning in some New Orleans funk joint, with a bunch of sweaty bodies moving in unison.
31. Forte – Zoe Keating
This song makes me feel the way I feel when I go to the airport to pick up a loved one that I haven’t seen in far too long. And the moment around 1:25 when the strings swell is when they turn the corner and your eyes meet and you both break out into uncontrollable smiles.
30. Missing U – Robyn
I love that Robyn made the sort of record that she did, which is complex and interesting and wonderful. That said, I can’t help but selfishly wish she’d made an album that bopped a little bit more. As it ended up, I respected Honey a lot more than I actually listened to it. With this song being the significant exception.
29. Miles Away – Josh Ritter
While we’re waiting on the next full length – which sounds like it’s going to be a great one – this is a lovely standalone track. A beautifully simple piano line provides the structure for Ritter to reflect on the distance between us, and the tiny gestures we make to try and reach across that void.
28. Trapper Man – Mark Knopfler
In my 11th grade American literature class, we watched the classic miniseries Centennial–26 hours detailing the history of a spot on the South Platte on the plains of Colorado, from the time before the arrival of Europeans right up until the present day. It was a formative experience for me, and went a long way to explaining my love for American history ever since. Trapper Man feels like a time capsule of the sort you get from Centennial: a story of a man living life on the edges of civilization…and the ways in which that civilization inevitably profits from even those who seek to escape it.
27. Dark Spring – Beach House
I had no idea that what I needed from Beach House in 2018 was a dark and stormy shoegaze number, but I’m certainly glad that it’s what we got.
26. Black Waves / Silver Moon – Phosphorescent
Voyager 1 was launched in 1977. In late 2012, it reached the interstellar medium. Eventually, its systems will shut down and we will lose contact with it. But it won’t stop moving. Its long, cold journey will continue down through the eons, as it moves achingly slow out into the galaxy. Waiting for the day, the infinitesimally unlikely day, when someone, somewhere, might discover it. And wonder where it came from.
25. Django Jane – Janelle Monáe
Every track on Dirty Computer has its partisans. For me, Django Jane is the best track. It’s an anthem which is both intensely personal and completely universal. But its universality is very much on her terms. In describing her own experiences, she invites the listener to see themselves through her eyes, and in that mirroring to understand the ways in which unthinking calls to solidarity often quickly strip away the specific–particularly when that specific form is black, queer, female.
24. Future Me Hates Me – The Beths
Pretty much a perfect power pop song about the classic subject of falling in love, but here the focus is entirely on the heartbreaks and trauma it’s almost certainly going to provoke. There’s something delightful about that.
23. What’s The Deal With David? – Oh Pep!
A glorious slice of indie pop, ready to warm your soul and soothe your fraying heart. The engine of the song is a rollicking little bass line, which is then surrounded by a waterfall of ringing notes. Add in some wonderful vocal harmonies, and what’s quite possibly the year’s most infectious chorus, and the whole thing glitters like a rainbow peaking out after the storm.
22. Rear View – GABBY’S WORLD
Formerly going under the name Eskimeaux, Gabrielle Smith changed the name to Gabby’s World, but the music is very much the same. Simple structures layered on top of one another to produce songs that feel like they’re dancing across whitewater rapids–constantly on the very of capsizing but still managing to (just about) stay afloat.
21. Best Years of My Life – Pistol Annies
It felt impossible to pick a single song from Pistol Annies, who quite literally had seven or eight songs I seriously considered here. But at the end of the day I went with Best Years of My Life, because it’s the one that most perfectly combines the two themes from their record: soul-crushing sadness and wry perseverance. There are songs on the album that make me cry, and others that make me smile. This one does both.
20. Your Song – Rita Ora
Technically this is from 2017 but despite being a huge smash last summer, I never really gave it any attention until the full album came out this year. The key to the song is the slight catch in her voice – which communicates a powerful impulse to flee. The lyrics tell a story of someone who’s more than a little blindsided to find herself falling in love, which could come off as a bit trite. But Ora completely sells it.
19. Waste (feat. Lady Chann) – Lily Allen
My favorite Lily Allen song in the better part of a decade. It springs from the same blending of reggae and pop that has served her well in the past, but the production is brighter here, and the addition of Lady Chann in the final minute is the match that’s needed to get the fire truly started.
18. Up From Below – Remember Sports
Imagine someone riding a unicycle atop a high wire, while juggling six balls, which are all on fire. That’s what this song sounds like. Except imagine they’re going about 150 miles per hour.
17. Driving – Grouper
I don’t know what this song is about, but I’m certain it’s the most important and most beautiful thing in the world. That’s how I feel about every Grouper song, really, but this one is particularly piercing.
16. Lost (feat. Chelsea Jade) – Jai Wolf
A song that manages to simultaneously feel dreamy and anthemic, it’s a call to the dancefloor for those who feel adrift in the world and desperately want to feel the connection and joy that music can bring.
15. Fight – Vanessa Peters
That moment you gather together your resolve, pick yourself up off the floor, and take that next step. You know it won’t be easy. You know the rewards will be far away, if they ever come at all. But you simply decide “this moment, right here, I will be my better self.”
14. Ganja Burn – Nicki Minaj
This almost certainly isn’t the *best* song from Queen, but it’s without a doubt my favorite. I’ve always enjoyed Nicki Minaj most when she was bulldozing through a pop song with some high octane rapping, and this is a nice variant–more chill, but still viciously delivered.
13. Now or Never Now – Metric
I didn’t love much on the new Metric album, but this song was a massive exception. It’s right up there with the best that Emily Haines has ever produced. A song so big that to call it an anthem feels like a decent understatement. And still, for all that, it isn’t really a song about climaxes, but rather about a measured, persistent demand: to live forever or die in the attempt.
12. No Tears Left to Cry – Ariana Grande
2018 was the year of Ariana Grande, and I don’t know how anyone could feel anything but joy for her. To have gone through so much, and to have emerged on the other side with this kind of giving spirit is astonishing. Thank U, Next was the song that finally took her to #1, and it’s a great song, but this was the one that hit me hardest in the feelings.
11. Heart To Break – Kim Petras
That feeling when you watch a magician do a trick over and over, and you know that it’s just sleight-of-hand and anyone could learn how to do it with enough practice, but it just doesn’t matter because it’s so unbelievably delightful. This song feels like it could have been designed in some Swedish pop laboratory to produce maximum head-bopping, but I do not care even a little bit. Screw authenticity. Give me the sugar.
10. The Mother – Brandi Carlile
I’m not sure she’s written another song as beautiful as this one. Certainly none as likely to bring a tear to your eye. It’s a love letter to her daughter, one framed by a bracingly honest assessment of what it actually means to become a parent.
9. Still Life (Audiotree) – Katie Ellen
The studio version is good. This version absolutely kills me. The bit when her voice just slightly starts to break at 1:59…pure shivers.
8. Set It Free – Now, Now
SGL is the best song from the album, but I already included it on my 2017 list, so I’ll go for the second-best, which is almost as good. The unsung hero is the bass, which transforms a shimmery song into a propulsive missile fired directly into your heart.
7. Full Control – Snail Mail
The ingredients are incredibly simple, but as any chef will tell you, trying to cook with simple ingredients is often the most dangerous thing, because there’s absolutely nothing to hide behind. If she didn’t stick the landing, this could all come across as trite. But she absolutely, perfectly does, and so it comes across as god’s own truth.
6. Doom and Gloom – DARK TIMES
“It’s not gonna be alright, it’s not gonna be fine. There’s no silver lining, it’s all doom and gloom.” It is certainly a mood.
5. O.M.G. (I’m All Over It) – Jenn Champion
Probably my favorite song from Jenn Champion, which is really saying something considering her contributions to one of my all-time favorite bands. But this sounds very little like her stripped down heartsick songs with Carissa’s Weird. Instead, it’s a velvet-smooth synth pop classic.
4. Demon and Division – Alkaline Trio
Twenty years into their career, and I suddenly have a new favorite Alkaline Trio song. That heavy bass! The vocal interplay! The bridge from Andriano that drops in toward the end and amps up the energy to another level!
3. Rainbow – Kacey Musgraves
In a year with plenty of tear-jerkers, I think this may be the one that hit me the hardest. It’s such an impossibly simple song, but there is so much beauty in that simplicity. When she sings it, you can believe it. Maybe it really will be alright.
2. The Opener – CAMP COPE
Equal parts rage and joy. Rage at a world of blatant injustice, filled with men who are utterly incapable of grasping the privileges they wield. But also joy: at the sheer audacity of creation and the righteous noise they can make. It would be a great song for any era, but feels absolutely essential in 2018.
1. Prodigal Dog – Hilary Woods
It seems insufficient to describe this song as haunting. It weaves itself around you, whispering promises of a world beyond our own. And if you tilt your head just right, you can almost see the veil between realities shimmering in the light. What lies on the other side? Do we dare to step across? That way lies madness…but also maybe redemption?