Love grows in me like a tumor

My current musical obsession is this song from Jenny Owen Youngs.

Fuck Was I

It’s been out for well over a year though I only encountered it recently. But good lord, how was this not constantly playing last spring and summer, when I really could have used it? It’s a breakup anthem that cuts through all confusion – a moment of clarity in a sea of madness. I mean, who could ask for a more satisfying and devastating verse than this:

Love tears me up like a demon
Opens the wounds then fills them with lead

And I’m having some trouble just breathing
If we weren’t such good friends, I think that I’d hate you

If we weren’t such good friends, I’d wish you were dead

It’s only made better by a chorus so drenched in a self-pity that is both ironic and lacerating: “Maybe I’ll be the lucky one that doesn’t get burned / What the fuck was I thinking?”

The fact that she has such a tender and beautiful voice and that the song has a great loping folksy tune only makes it better. I’ve probably listened to this track 15-20 times in the past couple days and I’m not remotely sick of it.

It’s from the record Batten the Hatches, released a couple years ago but re-released on Nettwerk last week. You can’t really tell that much from this song, but many of her others have a strong Beth Orton feel. And for Erin McKeown fans out there, you’ll probably find a lot to enjoy here.

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