And the bruises all make sense now

With all the attention Band of Horses has been getting recently, I thought today would be a good day to talk about one of the other former members of Carissa’s Wierd: Jenn Ghetto. She now has a solo project where she goes by the name of S. It’s not substantially different than her work with Carissa’s Wierd, which means there’s plenty of the fragile vocals and depressing, almost suicidal lyrics. If you ever longed for a soundtrack to a bad breakup, something to express just how you feel on those days when you can’t imagine getting out of bed, much less trying to interact with the world, Jenn Ghetto is here for you.

I once heard someone say of Morrissey, “it’s music to slit your wrists to.” I think that is even more appropriate here. This does mean that, at times, she runs the risk of falling into emo-territory and becoming a caricature of depression and gloom. However, a couple things rescue her. First, this is not “gee, I’m sad to be alone” that we’re talking about. Her lyrics stare into the abyss, and you can tell it is not a light endeavor. Second, her voice is far from “emo”. Instead it is frail, perpetually on the verge of breaking into a whisper, or even fading altogether. As such, it sounds genuine in its weakness and timidity. And therefore, in the rare moments when she lets go, and you can detect even the faintest glimmer of resoluteness or even, dare I say it, a smile, it is a powerful experience.

Her first album, Sadstyle, was closer to the Carissa’s Wierd approach – acoustic guitars and a minimalist sound. Her most recent album, Puking and Crying breaks some new territory, almost entirely abandoning the guitars in favor of electronics. It’s an experiment with its positives and negatives. On the whole, I prefer her more “natural” sounding work. On Sadstyle you could almost picture her in a corner draped over her guitar, as if it were the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor. Somehow, a little bit of the emotional intensity is robbed when I imagine someone sitting at a laptop playings with loops and synths.

That said, when it works well, it adds something ineffable. Two examples:

Falling

This song opens with a slow, grungy guitar riff that would sound right at place in a Nirvana song, but once she begins to sing, it’s clear we’re dealing with something entirely different. I like this song because it casually shifts among a number of different feelings: the grunge attitude, a chorus that sounds very indie with chiming guitars, and expert use of electronic loops to bridge the gaps and create what, at times, feels like a Postal Service track for a funeral.

I’m Fine…Bye Bye

This track abandons all pretense of a beat. Instead, the electronic synths ebb and flow through the channels to create an atmospheric sensation. And, the section about a minute in, where she sings “I’m almost done here” over and over is almost back-breaking in the feeling of weariness and pain that it evokes.

Now, to go back in time a little bit.

I Love You, Too

My favorite song by her, off Sadstyle. As far as I can tell, it’s out of print right now, so might be a bit difficult to get ahold of, but hopefully it will be re-issued soon (as they’re planning on doing with the old Carissa’s Wierd discs). It is yet another song about relying on someone to be your emotional crutch – not love, but the comfort of closeness. When she whispers to herself “it’s not wrong at all” you don’t know whether to think she is right, or whether she is lying, to herself and to the other person. This is immediately followed by a cathartic moment, as the pace quickens and she spits out “can’t even breathe in here, can’t even look at you, tell me how it feels when they all start to laugh at you.” You are left wondering what is worse: the pain of emotional detachment or the terror of being alone.

Smiths

A track off the Scrap Book album of B-sides and other unreleased Carissa’s Wierd stuff (which can be found on the Sonic Boom website. A very simple little acoustic song with a single, very pretty, guitar line, but it’s notable for being one of her happier-sounding songs. It’s not exactly overwhelming in its optimism, but there is a sense of the possibility for love and comfort in another here. But after the emotional devastation that it takes to get through some of her other stuff, it’s a strong breathe of fresh air.

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